Monday, 24 November 2014

Rule #44: Bad relationships

Bad relationships cause a multitude of social problems. From violence, alcoholism, child abuse (physical and emotional). The emotional baggage children carry can create long lasting psychological scars that could possibly be passed down through generations. Not to mention how uncomfortable it is hanging out with a couple who are just not digging each other anymore. I hate that.
Why do we stay in bad relationships? We generally know when we’re done. A constant depression coupled with no communication, no joy, no laughter, no physical contact, no love, spending evenings waiting for your partner to go to bed so you can whack off to the twenty-minute workout (not that I’ve ever been in that situation). But despite the telltale signs, many of us continue to stay in relationships that have clearly run their course. It’s hard to say why exactly, but here are the obvious reasons. It’s comfortable or familiar, for the kids, finances, fear of being alone etc…
Identifying bad relationships can be easy;

Good relationship;

  • Woman: “Hey, can I try that beer?”
  • Man: “Sure” – (passes beer to smokin’ hot trophy girlfriend)

Bad relationship;

  • Woman: "Let me try that beer!"
  • Man: "I asked you if you wanted one of these when we ordered. Why do you always have to do that? Now, I don’t feel so bad about banging your sister!"
Ahem...Check, please...
We’re all going to have to take some responsibility for this. Simply being in a good relationship is not good enough. It’s up to all of us to identify and terminate bad relationships. Too often we turn a blind eye and say nothing because we don’t want to tell our friends that their girlfriend is a bitch. Well I got news for ya Jack, you’re not doing them any favours. They will realize it someday, and when they do, they’ll look at you and say “Why didn’t you tell me?” Then you’ll have to sip your beer uncomfortably and shrug your shoulders knowing you could have prevented the emotional and financial distress your friend is now experiencing. I could be wrong, but I think women have a better handle on this. For some reason, I picture chicks very readily saying, "Girlfriend, why are you with that bum? You could do so much better."

In the new world, bad relationships will be terminated.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Rule #46: Super trawlers

Nothing super about these abominations of the sea. I touched on this in the cod moratorium post, but I think they deserve special attention as they’re impact reaches far beyond the collapse of the cod stocks.
Super trawlers are anti-sustainable in design and devastating in their implementation. They could be described as floating factories that destroy the very environment they thrive on. With the ability to stay out at sea for weeks, they can catch in a single day what would take 56 traditional African fishing boats a year to harvest. I’m not suggesting we should limit our technology to that of an African fishing village, but this is simply environmentally and economically unsustainable. European trawlers actually rape the African seas of their fish. Then sell the fish back to Africa, decimating the local fish stocks and local fishing economy.
Besides the fish stocks and economic issues, there are the environmental impacts of trawlers that use “bottom trawling”. Bottom trawling – or “dragging” - has been compared to forest clear cutting. When you have large vessels with nets the size of football fields systematically towing patterns over the ocean floor, large-scale habitat destruction occurs. It creates harmful algae blooms or oxygen-deficient dead zones, which cannot recover for decades.
Thanks to modern day technology, the dragger fishery no longer involves uncertainty. We now have the technological capacity to track down the last fish in the ocean. Unfortunately, these highly effective fish hunting machines are not very selective. The by-catch, or random killing of non-target species, is much higher in the automated fishing operation of a super trawler than in any other type of fishing. Dolphins and seals are killed directly, and the removal of vast quantities of red bait and mackerel impacts the ecosystems where these boats fish by destroying the food chain that supports tuna, sharks, seabirds and mammals.
This type of fishing is environmentally, economically and morally wrong. The perfect storm for corporate profitability.
 In the new world, ocean-devastating trawlers will be banned.

Friday, 21 November 2014

Rule #47: Vertical housing

I used to live in “vertical housing” once upon a time. Only back then we called them apartment buildings. Why does everything have to have a fucked up name nowadays? Wal-mart doesn’t have “box boys” they have “associates”. Schools don’t have janitors they have “janitorial technicians”. Whatever dude.
There’s a huge focus on urbanization these days. The concept is to restrict urban sprawl in an effort to contain the population where public services already exist. There’s also an environmental and economic benefit. The Newfies
had this figured out in the sixties when they initiated the resettlement program. Between 1965 and 1970, 16,114 people from 119 communities were resettled from remote areas to larger, more accessible communities of the island.
I listened with some amusement yesterday to a report that indicated children had to be bussed past local schools because “vertical housing” had created a school overflow problem. I’m sitting there thinking … “No Shit”. This must have been a very difficult equation for someone. I can see the number crunchers sitting at a big oak table looking at a drawing on a white board. All of them scratching their heads as they stare at a picture of a 1,000 unit building beside a three bedroom house trying to figure out which one could hold more school aged children. What a bunch of dumb dumbs.
In the new world, if we urbanize communities, we’ll build enough schools to accommodate the population.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Rule #48: Lethal injection drugs

Apparently, there’s a shortage of the drug used to kill criminals via lethal injection. It seems the pharmaceutical companies that produced the drug have some moral issues with creating it or they have legal concerns. Probably legal concerns, unless the pharms grew a conscience all of a sudden. Anyway, I’m thinking; "you’ve already decided to kill a person, who gives a rat’s ass how you do it." If you don’t have access to the usual poison, use Lysol or hydraulic fluid. A butt load of heroin will probably do the trick. I hear bullets or knives will shut you down pretty quick, also.
In a Florida execution, which used the new drug midazolam as part of a three-drug mix, the inmate, William Happ, appeared to remain conscious longer and made more body movements after losing consciousness than those executed with the old formula. What a travesty! I wonder how long 21-year-old Angie Crowley suffered while poor ol’ William abducted, raped and murdered her before throwing her body in the Crystal river. Do you think he had her best interests in mind?
If there’s going to be a problem acquiring the preferred cocktail of choice, I can think of a few options; Use a drug that keeps him writhing in pain for hours or lock him in a room with nothing but a gun with one bullet and a continually looping video of Bono discussing his take on world poverty - I'd be swallowing the barrel of that gun before the opening credits rolled. I could go on, but how about this; if the state can’t decide, let the families of the victims decide their fate. That could be interesting.
Horrific crimes aside, no matter what the reason is, if you have decided to kill someone, putting a lot of thought into how you're going to do it seems as redundant as post execution autopsies.

In the new world, we will be free of murder and rape, but if an execution is required, it will be done swiftly without fanfare.

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Rule #49: Cup and mug design

I like to think I know my way around a dishwasher. I’m not bragging. It’s not something that’s really brag worthy, to be honest. But after many years of trial and error, I’ve finally figured out how to load a dishwasher so nothing flips over and fills with water. I can confidently check that off my list of shit I need to figure out.
However, I still get extremely pissed off every time I empty the machine and I have to empty the water out of the bottom of the cups and glasses. Why the shit would anyone make a glass that’s able to hold liquid when it’s upside down? It’s not like you can fill it with booze and use it as a reserve when your drink is done. Although, that would actually be pretty handy. This serves no purpose. The concept seems pretty simple to me. Make the bottom of the damn glass flat! It’s like the manufacturers are just fucking with us. I can see them now, giggling away in their factories in China. Raffing at the thought of us spilling dirty water all over our clean dishes on the bottom rack.
Well that’s it! There is some shit up with which I will not put! I say we all take those crappy mugs and smash em’ in the street. Come on everybody; join me in ridding the world of these evil tools of the Chinese manufacturing underworld. Actually… don’t smash them in the street. Someone might get hurt or puncture a tire. As a matter of fact, don’t smash them at all because they’ll just end up in the landfill and I’m not cool with that. What we should do, is donate them to poor people. It would be a nice thing to do and they can’t afford dishwashers anyway. Although, they may have the same problem on the drying rack. Well at least they won’t have to worry about bits of food getting caked on during the drying cycle.

In the new world, the bottom of all cups and mugs will be made flat to avoid water pooling on the bottom in the dishwasher.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Rule #50: Prison guards

This kind of mentality drives me nuts. We’re supposed to be helping each other. Unfortunately, the indiscretions of a few paint a bad picture for an entire segment of society. It’s kind of like bouncers who use their position to justify kicking the shit out of a drunken patron. Prison guards who beat on someone who is under control or even restrained is inexcusable, morally repugnant and outright cowardly. The images I’ve seen coming out of the media are unbelievable. I started really taking notice when I saw Cassandra Feuerstein - a small 47 year old woman – being slammed face first into a jail cell in Illinois by a police officer. She subsequently suffered injuries that required reconstructive surgery. “Way to flex your muscle tough guy.”
Depending on who you are and what you’re in for, we may not give a shit if you get the ass woopin’ of a lifetime. Unfortunately, I think it’s more the weaker, undeserving inmates who feel the wrath of sadistic weak minded ass heads. What happens to people when you give them a position of power? Is it only assholes that apply for these positions, or do we turn them into power tripping idiots when we bestow them the power of authority? Hard to say.

In the new world, there won’t be much use for prisons, but the guards will be trained to exercise restraint.

Monday, 17 November 2014

Rule #51: Child porn

I got this. I mean, Rule #1 will fix it, but I still don’t understand it.
Anyone guilty of child porn related crimes should be banished from any society. I don’t say that in an arbitrarily soap box preachy fashion. I say that based on solid facts. This isn’t a victimless, addiction feeding crime. It’s an addiction (for lack of a better word) that most of us don’t understand. There’s many addictions I don’t understand. Some people eat hair and sand. I, myself can’t stop organizing my Tupperware cupboard or drinking coffee. All these addictions can be deemed weird by someone, but there’s no real victims. Child porn is different.
What makes this more horrific than other crimes is the type of mentality you have to possess to get involved. There’s no monetary gain as in theft or robbery. There’s no revenge satisfaction as in murder or assault. An observer of child porn has to have no remorse for the innocent, vulnerable children being exploited and be void of empathy and compassion. They must be completely aware of the fact that they’re not just watching sexual content, they’re actually witnessing abuse and torture of defenseless children for their own satisfaction. That’s bad. This is what gives these people sick monster status. We can only assume that this kind of remorseless mentality is potentially capable of anything. Not the type of mentality we want to welcome into the New World.

In the new world, Rule #1 should eliminate any type of child abuse. But in the event of a breach, I believe execution is within reason.
Certainly castration.