Recent news article: CHICKEN WING SHORTAGE!
Let's see... 2 weeks before super bowl and all of a sudden there's a chicken wing shortage. WOW! What a coincidence! It's like all the chickens decided to practice safe sex 9 months ago.
In the new world, any company, organization or industry that releases propaganda to increase profits (oil companies! you listening?) will be given a warning and fine. Second offence... license to operate is revoked!
Because without chicken wings, what other reason would we have to go out and watch the game?
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!