Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Rule #317: Telemarketers

Since I changed my phone number I don't get a lot of calls from telemarketers. 

And man, I really miss them!

What a great way to release frustrations. I used to unlaod all the crap that was bugging me on these poor souls. They're trained to never give up on a sale (although, I've had a few hang up on me) so you can keep them on the phone forever. Which I believe is your duty, in order to keep them from bothering other people.
Aside from venting, if you're lonely, they can be a great confidant. Someone to lend an ear and listen to all your problems.
Or, when you've had a few drinks and feeling saucy, just start rambling and having some fun.
Then there's my favourite. I'm passing the torch on this one, as my kids are now too old. When the call comes in, just pass the phone to your 4 year old. It's great listening to this conversation. I almost crapped myself when, after a long sales pitch, my son finally said... "Grandpa?"

In the new world, all telemarketers will be required to sign a waiver indicating that once you call someone, you are not permitted to hang up until the person on the receiving end of the call is done with you!


AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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