Friday, 13 February 2015

Rule #328: Unofficial weather report


Key word: Unofficial! If I want the official weather report, I turn on the TV or log into the weather network. After that, I have all the weather info I need. I know what's coming (at least within the reasonable power of our mortal meteorologists) and I can prepare accordingly.
So, unless you have a cold beer to give me or your making me an offer to come swim in your pool, what possible use is there for me to hear you say "hot enough for ya? I feel like saying "no, actually, gasping for air and having the soles of my shoes melt to the sidewalk isn't hot enough. I wish it was hotter so I would instantly incinerate as soon as I step in the sun."

Or when we get a ton of snow. It's all over the news, on the weather report and I can see it happen. Is it really necessary to offer your observation on the amount of snow?
I know people are usually just being friendly and I wouldn't want to discourage that mentality, I just think we could be a little more creative. It's like seeing someone in the morning and offering the obligatory "How ya doin'?" They don't really care how your doing, trust me. Next time give them a 15 minute report on how you're really doing and watch the look on their face turn to that "Man, sorry I asked" look.
All I'm trying to say is:
In the new world, it will not be considered rude to stop someone in the middle of saying something redundant and politely say "look, I'm really not interested and it would be rude of me to let you continue."



AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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