Monday, 30 March 2015

Rule #283: Bouncers

Personally, I have known some bouncers who are pretty cool dudes. I have also given some unknown bouncers just cause to kick my ass. Like the time I thought it would be a good idea to tickle everyone in the bar... including the bouncers. What did I learn from that? For one thing, it's surprisingly easy to incorporate "gitchy, gitchy, goo" into almost every rock song ever written. (especially "stroke me" by Billy Squire). Try it one time... "Stroke me, stroke me, STROKE!... STROKE!" Now try... "Git chy, git chy, GOO!...GOO!"
Works pretty good, eh?

In the new worl.... wait a minute, where was I? Oh yeah.. Bouncers.

Despite the good efforts of many, like most professions, it only

takes the ignorance of a few to paint the lot with the same brush. It's those few I want to address. We've all seen them. The huge dude who's so hopped up on roids, he's twitching at the chance to smash someone's face off the bar. Any ripped strong (sober) dude has the ability to defuse a potentially volatile situation without causing harm. And like I said, most of the time that happens, but too often it's a situation of a HULK wannabe releasing frustration and showing off, which leads to unnecessary, justified violence.

In the new world, bouncers will be trained to exercise restraint.

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