Saturday, 14 March 2015

Rule #299: Soccer

Here's why soccer fans riot. The game is so damn boring, they have to release their energy somehow. How can you watch a boring 3-hour game where you might see one or two goals without feeling a little frustration? So, the natural thing to do would be to unload the homemade rocket launcher you forgot to check with security, into the crowd.

I’ve always enjoyed watching my kids play soccer. That's when it's fun. No positions, no fighting, just a bunch of kids having fun. That was enjoyable.
Either some soccer fans are born assholes waiting to grow up, or being a soccer fan makes some people an asshole. Either way, they must be stopped. If a sport incites riots where people are getting killed and destroying buildings and stadiums, you prohibit that sport. Seems rational to me.

In the new world, soccer will be for school kids and beer parties only and abolished as a professional sport until new rules can be implemented to make it more exciting. Besides, players can probably find something more productive to do!



  1. Umm... first, us real fans call it football! And you just don't get the subtle intricacies is all... the flow of the pass, the mental toughness... the beau... OK; I can't keep this up. I was going to try and play devils advocate, but I already want to kick my own ass... as opposed to the stuff I normally like to do with it...

  2. If it wasn't for beckhams juicy hog I would never watch this shit called Footie. The reason it is so popular any fool can play if you have
    to legs and a rolled up sock game on but not everyone with two legs can skate!!!!!! Case closed!!!!!!


Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!