Thursday, 30 April 2015
Rule #252: Baseball
Originally, when I was thinking about baseball, my approach was
going to be the same as soccer. Slam it for all the obvious reasons. No action, boring, yadda, yadda, yadda.... And I've watched it before, ya know! Like when I needed to take a nap, or needed some background noise that no one was interested in. But then it hit me. I finally understand why dudes watch baseball. It's because it's just like being at home. You scratch your balls whenever you feel like it, spit wherever you want. It's just like hanging out in my living room.
Ball scratchers, however are not worth $30,000,000. The average salary of a professional baseball player is $3.4 million per year. This amount does not include deferred payments, incentives, nor does it include money paid or received in trades for players who have not been released. This compared to the $45,230 per year earned by the average worker in the United States. Personally, I scratch a mean ball! And all I get is a satisfied crotchular region.