Thursday, 23 April 2015

Rule #259: Never too late

What a lovely concept. It's so nice to give people inspiration to Live life to the fullest. To follow their dreams. To reach for the brass ring. Because really, it's never too late. I love it! Actually I have inspired myself. I always wanted to ride in the tour de France, so I'm going to quit my job, start training real hard because it's never too... wait a minute. My hips are pretty junked at 45 and I guess I do need money from my job. Hmmmmmm.

 

Well, OK. That's one thing out of a billion that it's too late for. But
everything else in the world is ready for the taking. This is going to be awesome. I'm going to be the youngest guy in the world to play in the NHL. YEAH! I'm going to blow everyone away. I'm getting my hockey gear out of the garage tomorrow and... wait a minute. How old was the youngest player to play in the NHL? Do you think he was older than 45? Hmmmmm.

Come to think of it, there may be a couple of things it's too late for. Let me see if I can think of a few....

Carve my kids height on a door trim every year of their life.... Too late 
Discover insulin.... Too late
Grow an afro.... Too late (yes, I'm follicly challenged now)
Never make one mistake as a parent.... Too late
Want an egg mcmuffin at 11:01?.... Too late
Be the first man on the moon.... Too late
Ride a dinosaur.... Too late
Invent the wheel.... Too late
See Frankie Venom live.... Too late
Steven Tyler not to be a tool.... Too late
Be the founder of Microsoft.... Too late
Enjoy fresh, clean air in downtown Hong Kong.... Too late

WOW... It's never too late... what a bunch of bullshit!

In the new world, "it's never too late" will be replaced with:

 "50% of the time, it's too late, every time"



AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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