Sunday, 19 April 2015

Rule #263: Just a thin slice

Here's the scene: You're at a party, kids or adults, doesn't matter and just when you finish the ceremonious cake cutting, a barely audible voice rises up through the party air.... "Just a thin slice for me". COME ON! It's a party. You get the same portion as everyone else. If you don't want it, sneak it to the dog. Or give it to the fat kid. I'm not taking orders for steak here.

 Maybe I feel this way ever since that incident with the cafeteria worker at the scouts camp I went to as a kid. They warned us ahead of time. "If you say you don't like something, you'll get extra." So, when the fat, old, cranky, ugly cafeteria lady went to dump peas on my plate, the words had barely left my mouth... "I don't like peas" (what was I thinking?)... We locked eyes. At that point, I could have lived the rest of my life without those 4 words if had the chance to take them back. Her eyes slightly squinted, mine opened wide. And then it happened... she tightened her grip on that scooper and lifted the biggest load of peas you've ever seen on my plate - ON TOP OF THE LOAD I ALREADY HAD! It took all my strength to keep the plate from hitting the floor. But I digress.


In the new world, anyone who says they just want a tiny piece of the cake, has to eat the whole thing... THEN, go out and get another cake for everyone else.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!
I hate peas to this day!

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