Monday, 6 April 2015

Rule #276: Storefront parking

In a strip mall, there is a no parking fire lane in front of all stores. It not only allows for easy access for emergency vehicles, it also allows traffic to flow safely and easily. 

HOWEVER, rarely is the traffic able to flow freely thanks to some very arrogant, self absorbed, self important,  holier than thou A-HOLES!
There's a thousand parking spots in the designated parking area. 0 in front of the stores. What the hell makes these people think they're so much more important than everyone else? Not only are they taking advantage of a system that was set up for a society to function properly, they're also creating a safety hazard and congestion for the rest of us.
There is no room for these people in the new world. When I see someone getting in a car that is parked in this fashion, I feel like going up to them and saying... "Hey, can I have your autograph? I can't quite put my finger on it but I know you must be someone famous due to the fact that you're so fucking important, that YOU, and ONLY YOU, get to park here and inconvenience the rest of us.

In the new world, storefronts will be patrolled by Dr. Phillip Buttersworth III and there's no telling what he'll do if he catches you.

The rule enforcer: Dr. Phillip Buttersworth III



  1. Dr. Phillip Buttersworth III was a very fun man to look at. It made me very happy. My name is Carl and my deets are I am very classic so I wwould like to be in your book as the monk who saved christmas. Thanks...... I love you

  2. Well classic Carl, I'm very flattered. You will have a very special place in my book."classic Carl the monk who saved Christmas".


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