Friday, 3 April 2015

Rule #279: Gay marriage

In order to officiate a debate and make a decision on any controversial topic, it's essential you are impartial. Here's where I come in. I'm not gay and I don't believe in God! Therefore, I'm the perfect mediator for this debate. So here it is:



Gay marriage is wrong and should not be allowed. There you go.




As I said, I'm not religious. But I'm pretty sure God doesn't dig gays. Actually, LEVITICUS says it right there in 18:12... "Dudes shall not bangeth other dudes, that is detestable." (Of course he also said "The unchaste daughters of priests must be burnt to death.") I don't think he was the most tolerant cat in the kingdom and there's a lot in that crazy book that doesn't make sense. But since marriage is a religious ceremony generally performed in the house of God, or at least in his presence, by a priest...  Ipso Facto... gays should not marry. Not in the traditional sense anyway. Personally, because of my athiestishness (yes that will be a word in the new world) I couldn't give a rats ass if gays got married in a church. However, If you believe in God, you shouldn't be gay. And if you don't believe in god, why would you want a religious ceremony anyway? Marriage is, after all, based on religion.
What is needed is a new way to form a union of the souls. A format for people to join hearts in a symbolic ceremony outside of church and religion. Complete with the big party that goes with a traditional wedding.

In the new world, gay marriage will not be permitted in a religious church and everyone will have the option for a non religious ceremony recognized by the new world order.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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