Friday, 29 May 2015

Rule #223: Line budders

It's hard for people like us to tolerate line budders. We, as creators of a better world would not stoop to this level. So it's a real test of our rule abiding patients to watch this go on. It's not just the act itself that gets on my nerves. You do NOT want to be in a car with my hot trophy girlfriend when someone flies up the merge lane and tries to squeeze in at the front of the stopped traffic lane. No sir! Suffice it say, it's just uncomfortable for everyone. Some day there WILL be fisty cuffs.

Then there's the ride lines at the amusement park. Young kids who crawl under the cattle barriers to get ahead of everyone. Bad children. But what are you going to do about it? Confront them and give them young whipper snappers a piece of your mind? What would you rather do, wait an extra turn for the roller coaster or get the sh*t kicked out of you by a thirteen year old kid? I'll take the next train, thanks.

And what about giving front of the line treatment to disabled people? I watched a lady and her entourage get escorted to the front of the line on Victoria and first peoples day, and when it was time for them to board the coaster, she stood up and climbed into the coaster unassisted with relative ease. A phony? Perhaps. But I try not to judge too harshly. And think of this. What if a dude who can't walk gets preferential treatment. BUT! what if he's crippled because he was drinking and driving and crashed his car and killed a baby in another car? Should we be inconveniencing ourselves for someone like this? Yeah, think about it.

In the new world, all wheelchairs will have identification indicating if they are crippled due to their own stupidity and if so, no amusement park special treatment will be given. Also, car accidents involving budders will automatically be the fault of the budder.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

6 comments:

  1. Man...I needed this dude coming over the border on Victoria and First Peoples Day! I don't know why some people (budders) think that they are more important than everyone else that is waiting patiently? Don't get me started!!!!

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  2. I totally agree, we need to treat each other with respect and follow moral rules of etiquette be they unwritten or not. I mean what makes a person think they are more valuable or their time more important then someone else? Just yesterday I was shopping at Zehrs after work. I had be waiting in line for close to 10 minutes as they only had 2 open registers at the time. There were still 2 people ahead of me, one was paying and the other had just started putting groceries on the conveyor. A new cashier came out and looking directly at me said "I can help the next person here" I started turning my cart and heading her way when suddenly another cart barges past me glancing off the front corner of mine. I said "Hey!" and raised my hands in a gesture of WTF! I then get the stink eye from the woman (I think it was a woman as I couldn't tell because they were covered head to toe in drapes or something) I look at the cashier for help but she only shrugs her shoulders as if to say "What can you do?" The budder proceeds past me with a foul smell of curry, body odor and feces. I look back at my old line and an attractive blonde is gracious enough to let me back to my old spot. She says "Some people...." and I nod in agreement. In the New World budders should be deported without delay to third world countries so they can hang out with other budders.

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  3. The answer is to do away with lines and let the strongest enjoy the rides. Makes evolutionary sense, and you know it! :)

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    Replies
    1. Interesting. I like the concept. But at 5'6" and 140lbs, I may end up destined to pushing kids off the mary go round.

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  4. Nice read! I like the suggestions.

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Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!