Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Rule #225: Left turn lollygaggers

If you’re not familiar with this, allow me to set the scene. You’re sitting at a red light waiting to make a left turn. There are 10 cars ahead of you. It’s a long light, so if you don’t make it through its another 10 minutes wait. The advanced left arrow starts to flash. You grip the wheel. Your foot’s already off the brake. You know you can make it if everyone gets moving. The first car in line makes the turn and you're off. 

  But wait! Why is there a gap before the next one goes. And was the next guy sleeping? Why is everyone going so slowly? Now you’re not sure. Will you make it? Then it happens! The guy in front of you decides to play it safe and stops on the yellow. It’s over. You’re stuck. You bang the steering wheel, Change the radio station because you hate that song (whatever it is), Rub your forehead and wonder why everyone in the world is so stupid.
If you have pole position in a left hand turn lane, you have a responsibility. You don’t just sit there doing your nails or checking
to see what’s in your glove compartment. You watch the crossing traffic light. And when that sucker turns yellow, you finish your text (yeah right, you weren’t texting…whatever) and prepare. Two hands on the wheel. Eye on the other light. Brake foot eases. The second it turns red, you release the brake and start rolling. Right foot hovering the gas pedal. Left  arrow ignites and HAMMER DOWN! You have to lead the pack. You should be around the corner before the second flash. And everyone behind should follow suit.
And THAT is how it’s done!
In the new world, when the left turn arrow starts flashing, you better be half way through the intersection before the second flash.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

2 comments:

  1. This needs to be taught in driver education and also be demonstrated during your final practical driving test. Just yesterday I was heading to work and having to turn left at a set of lights. The person ahead for some inexplicable reason decides to stop before the intersection and of course the light turns yellow and then red. Wondering if someone was wrong with their vehicle or maybe they were having a medical emergency I debated if I should get out to see if they were ok. The passenger door opens and a man gets out and opens the rear door, curious I watch as he pulls out a 10kg bag of rice and walks to the trunk. He starts yelling in some foreign language and the trunk pops open. He puts the bag in as I watch the light turn green again, if he hurries we can make the light I think. But NO he grabs another 10kg bag of rice and proceeds back to the trunk. I debate going around him on the inside as traffic going straight is blocking my right. As he goes back for a third bag the light turns yellow and then red again. I was getting fairly irate by now and thought of my next move. He gets back in the car so I decide to just wait, also the trunk is still open so I am chuckling to myself and hoping some minor damage occurs when driving. The light goes green and they start pulling away I let of the brake and follow. Suddenly they slam the brakes on forcing me to also emergency brake. The man gets back out heading towards the open trunk, having enough I decide to pull around them on the inside as again the straight lanes have traffic. I am going past them and suddenly I hear a horn blaring and some gobbledygook being directed at me. I quickly look as I drive past and get the stink eye. Next a foul odor of curry, body odor and feces permeated my car forcing me to gag and do up my windows. In the New World people from third world countries need to learn the rules of our roads or take the bus. // End of Rant //

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  2. Jeezuz! You have earned your free pass into the new world. Welcome!

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