Thursday, 7 May 2015

Rule #245: When hockey players speak

Why let hockey players speak between periods? It just aint their forte'. I believe It's a contractual obligation. And it's ridiculous. Most of them don't want to do it and they're really not good at it. Even though they play the game, they have nothing to offer. A good example is Phil Kessel. Great hockey player. Terrible speaker. He admits it and the media calls him an introvert. So why the hell would we make players like him speak in front of a camera. Is it because we want to hear a captivating exchange like this?

Interviewer: You're down by 1 goal, what was the problem after the first 20mins?

Player: Uh, well, uh, we were a little slow off the start, uh, they beat us to the puck, uh, and we just gotta, uh, pick it up a bit ya'know?

What's the key to getting back in the game?

Uh, well, uh, we gotta come out a little faster, uh, we gotta beat em to the puck, uh, and we just gotta pick it up a bit ya'know?

What's it going to take to win tonight?

Uh, well, uh, we gotta pick it up, uh, beat them to the puck, uh, play well as a team, uh, and uh, we just gotta get the puck in the net.

Wow! Put the puck in the net? What a concept. I hope the other team wasn't listening to that strategy!


I actually feel bad about writing this one. Most of these guys are
probably good people. They just aint public speakers. Let them do what they're good at and leave the commentating to the commentators. Or.... maybe we should let the commentators play during the breaks. Come to think of it, I'd love to watch Harry Neil and Bob Cole on the ice.



In the new world, athletes won't speak publicly, unless they request to.
Or Bob Cole and Harry Neale agree to play between periods.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

4 comments:

  1. Totally agree on this one dude.....Can't figure out why fans actually want to hear athletes talk about what just happened. No matter what sport, it is the same canned interview. Would love to hear them say what's really going through their mind. ...."We are losing because that fuckwad defenseman is afraid to block a shot."....That would be mildly entertaining.

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    1. Agreed. If they interviewed me, it would sound like this: "I totally carried the team, if everyone played like me, we'd be up 50 - 0. I don't have anyone to pass to and our goalie is a sieve.

      Delete
  2. Can we ban useless "pre-game" banter while we're at it? I mean, it's fine if they have something to say about the team's stats or history, but most of it is just "They need to use their offence. They need to use their defence. They need to use their goalie. (repeat)". Thanks, tips.

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    Replies
    1. Done. As soon as the verbal diarrhea starts, it's up to Dr. Phillip Buttersworth III to promptly slap the mic out of their hands.

      Delete

Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!