Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Rule #198: Movie critics

I never listen to, check in with or give any cred to critic reviews. If I see a trailer for a movie that looks interesting, I check it out. I don't see a need for someone else to dictate what I should and should not like. How do you train to be a movie critic anyway? Is there like, a university course that you take on how to determine if a movie is good or not? I always figured liking a movie was a matter of personal taste. If that's the case, and it is, then movie critics are telling us what we do and do not like. Of all the nerve! Up yours critic man! I mean, not everyone loves THE BIG LEBOWSKI and it IS the best movie ever made. 

 If I was a movie critic, I could sum up every movie ever produced like this: Scary movies aren't scary. Dramas are usually boring and unbelievable. Romantic comedies??... whatever dude. Edgy comedies are really your only safe bet. And I wouldn't go to the theatre to see them. When I watch a movie, I want to be comfy with a good supply of fine spirits, lots of snacks and room to laugh my ass off. If you really want someone else to give you their opinion of a movie, wouldn't you want to know something about the person offering their opinion? Because really, reviews are just like, you know, someone's opinion, man.

In the new world, movie critics will have to provide a list of their fav movies as well as the following info: Age, race, gender, education, turn ons & turn offs!



Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!