Not to beat on Sonora Dodd for creating Fathers day, but she
overlooked one small detail. The problem is, Sundays are my day to relax, work on my bikes and have a few drinks in the Dizzy Bitch. So then, you create one Sunday a year that is my day to do whatever I want. Well, generally, "whatever I want" will include a few extra cocktails. Now this is all well and good except for one small detail. It's not a holiday! So now I have to go to work on Monday morning with a hangover.
Perhaps just another commercial money grab? Even when Sonora created Fathers day back in 1910, she had the help of those trade groups that would benefit most from the holiday, for example the manufacturers of ties, tobacco pipes, and any traditional present to fathers. In 1938 she even had the help of the Father's Day Council, founded by the New York Associated Men's Wear Retailers to consolidate the commercial promotion of the day. Even if that's all true and it was originally created to compliment the already implemented Mothers day, we have to grab this for all it's worth. On this day, we the fathers, who aren't in heaven, should NOT have to:
Touch a lawn mower, ask for a beer, get dressed, say thank you, go shopping or ask for a light for your pipe. These things should be automatic.
We SHOULD be able to: Arise whenever we feel like it, swear, scratch, fart, NOD (nap on demand) and leave dishes and beer bottles wherever we want.
In the new world, the third Monday of June will be declared "Fathers day hangover day". A day of rest for all fathers.Women will still have to go to work. After all, if it's a day to do "whatever we want" the massage parlors, strip joints and garden centers will have to be open.
Did I say garden center? I meant gun shop.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!