Monday, 15 June 2015

Rule #206: Bar shots

Why do we do this? I won't speak for anyone else. I think I have enough experience on the subject to speak on my own behalf. So if anyone disagrees with anything I say here, let me know.

I've done every shot from straight whiskey to a B52. From a stomping rhino to liquid cocaine. Big shots, small shots & body shots. And of course, the almighty Jager Bomb! My hot trophy girlfriend even made me do a shot from between the tits of a waitress in the big easy. Then I had to stick my face in her tits and let her dry hump me. I know, what a bitch eh?  

And one thing I can tell you is, they all taste like shit. Why the hell would I want to take 2 or more ounces of pure whisky and chug it? It's stupid! It's unenjoyable and expensive! I've done enough of these to sink a ship and empty my wallet. 

But despite my argument against doing this, I WILL do it again. I don't want to. But I can see it happen. Half pissed, leaning against the bar, laughing too loud at my own jokes (that I probably wouldn't even get the next morning), then I hear it. Out of the darkness some idiot yells... SHOTS? So I, being the wisest of them all, think long and hard about the consequences. Weigh the pros and cons. Then in my most profound intellectual voice, I clear my throat and announce.....  FUCK YEAH! LINE EM' UP BITCHES! I probably won't get a hangover THIS time.

In the new world, I will not do any more shots. 
And I mean it this time.
Unless they make em' taste gooder.

1 comment:

  1. Hot Trophy Girlfriend15 June 2013 at 09:41

    I must say that I think everyone sooner or later is a victim to the bar shots! I do recall a night of doing shots in the big easy and doing alot of things that probably wouldn't have happened if shots weren't involved and hell... it was worth it!


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