I could bore you with all my usual bullshit rhetoric about animal cruelty and the likes, but I want to focus on something else. Something even more sinister and evil than deliberately mistreating marine animals until they die just so spoiled, cotton candy faced brats can push their rotten faces up against the glass and say "look, I want one of those" to the whales and turtles. No! this is bigger than that! Marineland's jingle states, and I quote, "everyone loves marineland". "EVERYONE loves marineland". According to this statement... Ipso facto... "Steve Bennett" loves marineland. Well, let me set the record straight. Steve Bennett DOESN'T love marineland. As a matter of fact, Steve Bennett fucking hates marineland. And Steve Bennett takes offense to them singing to the world about how much I love them. Who the fuck asked them to speak on my behalf anyway? Unless they're insinuating that I'm not part of "everyone", that I belong to some kind of sub culture of society that isn't worthy of being considered part of the royal "everyone". Unless that's their angle, they must be professing my love of animal cruelty to the world. I don't even support their existence. Yet they have the gall, the audacity, the arrogantness to profess my undying love of animal torture. Sonsabitches! That's it.
I'm starting a class action lawsuit against Marineland. Who will support this cause and join my class action? We can't stand idly by and let these ass heads get away with this! How much longer will we let them exclaim to the world what we do and do not love?
So who's with me? Come now children of the beast, BE STRONG, AND SHOUT! AT THE DEVIL!
In the new world, prior to shutting down all marine parks like marineland, we will sue for $10,000,000,000.00.
And lifetime free passes to the park until they close.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!