Monday, 1 June 2015

Rule #220: Shampoo instructions

 "Wash, rinse, repeat."    "Lather, rinse, repeat"     "Rinse and repeat"
 Can you think of anything more redundant? Do you think anyone actually stands in the shower with soap in their hair and say "what was next step?" Then pick up the bottle and go "oh yeah, rinse". I guess I should also point out that such instructions, if taken literally would result in an endless loop of repeating the same steps, at least until one runs out of shampoo.

 Maybe its a conspiracy. I'm not sure what they'd be conspiring to.
Unless... come to think of it, if these instructions were removed from the bottle and people actually exercise critical thought and stopped repeating every day, shampoo consumption would immediately decline by 50%. I hadn't realized it before, but this is a huge conspiracy.  Well I'm not playing! FUCK YOU, VIDAL SASSOON, you gorgeous bastard! You may have taken your secret to the grave, but it's time to topple your empire! Your product should have been labelled "SCAMpoo"



In the new world, if you can't use shampoo without reading the instructions.... you're not allowed to wash your hair.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

2 comments:

  1. I shall henceforth call it scampoo, in your honour, sir.

    A fine post, particularly the reference to the infinite loop, which appeals to my programmer heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mulled Vine and welcome to the new world.

      Delete

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