Monday, 20 July 2015

Rule #171: Seedless watermelons

 Americans consume more watermelon than anyone else, and watermelons, like all fruit, naturally produce seeds, but these days, the preferred type of watermelon is one that’s seedless. Last year, the seedless variety comprised 73% of all watermelon imported to the US, mainly from Mexico—a dramatic shift from just a decade ago. Seedless watermelons have defeated their seeded brethren. 
Buying seedless watermelons, however is like buying organic apples that were grown in a Chernobyl orchard.

Bite into a so-called seedless watermelon, and you are sure to encounter the other, less-talked-about watermelon seed: white, soft, and translucent. They are the coatings of seeds that haven’t matured. In regular watermelons, about 5% of the seeds are likely to be these undeveloped white ones. But in “seedless” watermelons they predominate, a product of the fruit’s upbringing. It just feels wrong to call a watermelon seedless when its seeds are right there, glimmering in the summer sun.

 The point is, they are NOT seedless! Call them what you will but they have seeds. In my opinion, this is false advertising. This is one of the bullshitishnesses that I will not put up with in the new world. I got y'alls backs on this one. Ye shall not another watermelon seed eat ..... not on my watch.


In the new world, anything touted as seedless will not contain fucking seeds.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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