Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Rule #177: People who start a new relationship then disappear

I don't get it. You party with someone all the time. Then, it happens. They meet a chick (or dude) this can work on either sex, and shazam! they disappear. I know we should be happy for them. They have finally met their soul mate. Someone to share the good times and comfort them in the bad. A companion to fall in love with, marry and grow old together in a small farm house with a white picket fence with 2.3 kids and a dog. Cause' that always happens when you pick up the drunkest chick in the bar at 2:30.

 What's hard to figure is why they have to disappear. If you're with someone who won't let you play with your friends anymore, your with the wrong person. And it's healthy to have time outside of your relationship occasionally. Trust me, after a weekend with my friends, you'll be glad to go home and you'll have a whole new appreciation for your significant other. Or, you may discover that all your friends were assholes and you're happy to have someone else to hang with. Either way, the only way to find out is to continue to party. You should at least stay in contact with your buds for a while, because if you start missing them but you've spent the last 6 months in seclusion with the new chick watching reality shows, it's too late. You can't tell her you're going out on your own now. No sir! I can just see it... "Honey snookums, I'm just going to pop down to the Dizzy Bitch to watch the game with some old friends for an hour, ok?"... "But pumpeekin, some gay dance competition show is on and we always watch that together on Thursdays at 8." Forget it dude. It's over. You blew it. The window has closed.

In the new world, it will be a requirement to party with your friends at least 5 times in the first 6 months of a new relationship.


AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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