Saturday, 29 August 2015

Rule #131: Movie theatre etiquette

You don't always want to go to a movie theatre and obey all the rules of theatre etiquette. On occasion you just want to go to the movie house, grab a drink at the theatre bar and go all "Rocky horror picture show" on the joint (even though that is one shitty movie). Say your at a comedy flick and it's funny as hell. Instead of chuckling politely at the appropriate times, you feel like exclaiming at the top of your lungs "No way, that's some funny shit". Or when your checking out a romantic drama and the guy screws over the chick, you feel like yelling at him, as you wipe away a tear "YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD, HOW COULD YOU". 

Or my favourite, you're digging a horror film. Then the inevitable happens. The hot chick, who's home alone at night, wearing tight daisy dukes and a white t-shirt that she had to borrow from her 5 year old sister, decides to go into the room where the weird noises are coming from. You know the bitch is gonna get whacked or offed or whacked off. So you want to help her. "Bitch! DON'T GO IN THERE BIIIITCH"! Sometimes you just want to enjoy the film like you're in your element.

In the new world, there will be 2 theatres for every movie. One for proper movie etiquette and one for the all out movie experience.

But no seat kickers. No spank you!
Seat kickers will be banished from the land!

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