Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Rule #134: Gym grunters

 I find these dudes funny. But that's probably because I don't go to a gym. I may see them in funny videos or hear people talk about them, but that's about it. I'm sure they could defend themselves in some self righteous, muscle bulging fashion, but it would be lost on me. I can't imagine doing anything sober that would require me to yell at everyone to look at me. When I'm drunk, sure. I'm always yelling at people to look at the cool shit I do when I'm hammered. But sober in the gym? (I'm assuming people go to the gym sober, which is probably why you won't find me there) Forget it. That would be like going to the grocery store and yelling "OMG! EVERYONE LOOK AT THE DEAL I JUST GOT ON PURPLE TOILET PAPER, IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME!"

  Similar to public farters, these people need to know their audience. If you're in a room full of grunters, grunt away. But if your annoying people and making a spectacle of yourself, stop it. Why are you grunting anyway? Are you trying to show off? Because it's really not necessary. We get it. It's heavy! If you're lifting something that causes you to emit an unpleasant sound, why would you want to lift it anyway?. If I have to lift something at home that would cause grunting, I get someone to help me with it. It just aint worth it.

In the new world, gym grunters will be pointed at and made fun of. And they aren't allowed to beat anyone up.


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