Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Rule #142: Toilet terrorists

 Public "toilet terrorists"! You know who I'm talking about. People who walk into a common can, destroy the cubicle and walk out without flushing their last burrito land mine into the river system. These people must be stopped! I purposely describe them as terrorists because it's like leaving a bomb in a public place. Think about when you stumble upon one of these "bombs". You stroll into the loo expecting to expel last nights toxins, open the door nonchalantly, then there it is! KA-BOOM! You throw your arm up in defence, fall back against the door and almost fall down backwards. You've been struck by the toilet terrorist.

 How can you go into a public shitter, take a dump and walk out leaving the bomb for someone else to diffuse? It's terrorism I tells ya! Or did you forget that you dropped a deuce?  Do your eyes suddenly open up when you walk outside the can, wondering how in the hell you got there? If you can’t flush the potty like a big boy or girl then maybe it’s time to look into adult diapers.


In the new world, non flushers will be pinned down by Dr. Phillip Buttersworth III and he'll rub baby powder on your tushy and apply a diaper that you will wear until such time that you are aware of proper public toilet etiquette. If you're lucky, he'll blow on your belly and jiggle his keys.

Dr. Phillip Buttersworth III

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

3 comments:

  1. That so happened to me at Edgefest! Rainy shiity day, everyone covered in mud and i had to wait in a line for 25 minutes to pee! I'm a girl, actually, a lady, so couldn't pee with the boys beside the shitter (not appropriate unless your camping) so i had to use the sleeve of my raincoat to cover myhands so i could brace myself so as to not touch anything. Should have used the bush!

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  2. You ladies definitely have a bigger challenge. I don't envy you.

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  3. You definitely realize that you have a release originating from your latrine in your lavatory and you realize that you have to pick a handyman for can repair.Leaking Wall north shore

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