Sunday, 16 August 2015

Rule #144: Celebrity news

 Do I really need to know that the Kardashians just ate a salad and are still fat? I'm talking about the fat one that used to be hot after she was fat then got hot and is now fat again. Not the fat ugly one who was always fat and ugly that nobody really cares about anyway. Who would think this is news? I know there's someone out there reading this right now thinking "if I can't follow what the celebs are doing, I don't wanna live". Admit it. You're out there.
 Why is it that most of us can't name the capitol of P.E.I., but without hesitation we know that Rhianna wore a blue bikini to the beach last week (well, that might be newsworthy... MIGHT be). Wouldn't it be amazing if these celebs also eat food and breathe air, just like us! We already know they fart just like us. I mean honestly, what the hell has become of the human psyche that we care more about a spoiled gazillionaire brat than we do about our struggling neighbour or the state of the environment?




Well that's it! I've had it with this crap! We, the people of the new world, are going for real change here. I don't know how we're going to do it, but here we go...


In the new world, we will have as much interest in the daily lives of celebrities as we do in answering the door for Jehovah witnesses.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

6 comments:

  1. I'm sick of it, too. I'd much rather know what Nobel prize winners are eating for breakfast. Unlike many celebrities, I might be inclined to emulate their behavior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the type of mentality we need to carry forward into the new world.

      Delete
  2. I'm not most people. To prove it, I'll say just two things:

    1. Charlottetown.

    2. Who the hell is Rhianna?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1. Correct
      2. Can someone else field this one? I know she's hot, but other than that... singer? actress?

      Delete
  3. Has anyone heard the song "shine bright like a diamond"? She is also a designer but I must say that I don't own anything from her line.

    ReplyDelete

Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!