Friday, 14 August 2015

Rule #146: Cordless phones

It seems this marvel of technology has turned around to bite us in the ass. I remember when they were invented. Yes, I've been around a spell. I thought my life would be so much better. No more having to stand in one place tethered to the phone base. Now I was free to roam and get things done while sitting on hold or listening to someone blather on about uninteresting crap. I figured the time savings would be immeasurable. But alas, behold the truth. Here's the real time savings calculations:

 Wasted time on corded phone (V), minus time freed up thanks to cordless technology (W), plus time spent searching for cordless phones (X), plus time spent trying to answer dead phones (Y), = time saved thanks to cordless technology (Z). Find Z!

Where V=1hr, W=1hr, X=6,748,653,998hrs, Y=3,666hrs. Find Z!
So: V-W+X+Y= Z
Therefore: Z = 6,748,657,664.

 So, instead of saving about an hour a day of wasted telephone talk time, cordless phones have actually cost the average phone using citizen over six and a half billion hours a day! Not so marvelous meow is it. Unless I could teach the kids to stop losing the fucking thing. Then it really would be a time saver.

In the new world, cordless phones will have cords attached so they don't get lost.



  1. WOW! I had no idea on the stats of lost there a number you can call to report your phone lost????


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