Monday, 10 August 2015

Rule #150: The royal family

The royal family... The royal wedding... The royal birth... 
A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS, I SAY!


 I was just watching the news and there was a special report on how the duchess wore some really nice clothes during her pregnancy. This was a "news" channel. How do they call that news? And who gives a crap about this stuff? How do the Brits tolerate it? It seems like they really dig it. Are they not aware of the over 40,000,000 pound annual price tag that comes with all this hoopla? And that doesn't even include things like security by the police and army. It seems to me the only financial benefit of the royal family is attracting tourism, but worth $40,000,000 it ain't. Six pounds thirty one pence per hour maybe, instead of sucking its sustenance from the public coffers, enriching itself greatly at the expense of poor taxpaying citizens.

And what's with the whole monarchy thing anyway? Me doth think
the time hath past. There's no royal activity anymore. Except for the over extravagance and over indulgence. It's not like the king or duke or whoever can yell "OFF WITH HIS HEAD" and someone's noggen rolls down the street. It seems to me they just roll around waving n' shit. It's no wonder they don't do anything, it's not like they were chosen by the people to be head of state. You just have to be born to the right parents.

Now, I'm all for a happy family, but c'mon! Do we need an update every time the royal baby inhales or shits itself? I've had 3 kids and aside from partying with buddies, I've never been on the news. And I'm frickin' awesome! I'm honestly glad that the royal couple are happy and have a healthy baby. But you gotta admit, wouldn't it have been hilarious if the baby turned out black or retarded. Admit it, that would have been newsworthy! Although they probably would've had it incinerated and raised the surrogate baby produced by 2 super models.



In the new world, the royal family will be abolished!
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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