Saturday, 8 August 2015

Rule #152: Cops on patrol

 I'm a big supporter of the cops, man (just in case any are reading). For real, dude. When I hear about a criminal being shot by a copper, I'm on the cops side until I hear evidence of the contrary. It's like I've said before, the people who say 'I hate cops' are the same people who call when the chips are down and they're on the wrong side of bad scene.
But I have to draw the line here.



 Cops on patrol using segways!







These things might be ok for lazy mall cops and their baby town frolics, but we're talking about our boys in blue. The guys who
protect the streets from serious criminals. How are they going to track down a criminal on foot while riding one of those things. A runner is much more agile. He could just run in circles until the machine runs out of juice. And what if a speeding car goes flying by and the driver is hammered drunk, smoking a joint while raping a dog? What then? Are they going to engage in a hot pursuit chase? Me thinks not. And who's going to save that poor dog?


Now let's get down to the nitty gritty. The real deal. There are some cops, not all, but some who could use a little more exercise. Am I wrong? I'm not trying to insult anyone here, but c'mon, let's face it! A few less donuts and a little more cardio wouldn't hurt. Due to the fact that I see no tactical advantage to using these things I'd have to say it's simply for the comfort factor. Or lazy factor. Or the "I need to spend my budget" factor. Either way, it's a waste of money and a detriment to a cops health. I'm just lookin' out for the five 0 here, man.


In the new world, cops will patrol on foot and save the segway money for safety equipment testing!

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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