Saturday, 1 August 2015

Rule #159: Cheese slices

Processed cheese was invented over 100 years ago in Switzerland,
but it took an American, James L. Kraft, to manufacture the first commercially available sliced processed cheese, just after World War 2. Hardly promotable as a nutritious snack, processed cheese does have some technical advantages over unprocessed cheese. Like some of the characteristics most educated shoppers look for, such as extended shelf-life, resistance to separation when cooked, and uniformity of product.

The product’s full name is Kraft Pasteurized Processed Cheese "Product". It cannot be called cheese because less than 51% of it is actually cheese. The rest is composed of other ingredients. What ingredients? I'm glad you asked. Let's take a stroll through the royal botanical cheese "product" garden of ingredients:

Milk – is it whole? Skim? Kraft is taking the 5th on this.
Whey – a by-product of cheese production. it is one of the components which separates from milk after curdling.
Milk Protein Concentrate (MPC) – a white to light-cream-colored dry powder. It is a very cheap milk byproduct produced from skim milk through a series of processes that includes ultrafiltration, evaporation and drying.
Milkfat – the fatty portion of milk. Whole milk has 3.25% fat. Skim milk has none. How much milkfat is used here? good question. Kraft took that one to the grave.
Calcium Phosphate  (E341) – an acidity regulator, calcium phosphate is also a raising agent. It is also used in cheese products to fortify them  with additional calcium.
Sodium Citrate (E331) -  a food additive, usually for flavor or as a preservative. Has a tart flavor.
Whey Protein Concentrate -  a collection of globular proteins that can be isolated from whey, a by-product of cheese manufactured from cow’s milk.
Sodium Phosphate (E339) – a food additive used as an emulsifier. Emulsifiers keep oil and water molecules mixed together, despite their natural tendency to separate. It increases shelf life and maintains texture and appearance.
Sorbic Acid as a Preservative  (E200) - antimicrobial agents often used as preservatives in food and drinks to prevent the growth of mold, yeast and fungi.
Cheese Culture - Cheese cultures are bacteria needed for the production of all types of cheese products. The bacteria type will determine the cheese’s gastronomic properties (smell, taste, texture).
Enzymes - coagulates the milk, causing it to separate into solids (curds) and liquid (whey)
Annatto (Color) (E160b) – a natural red food coloring from the pulp of crushed seeds of tropical achiote trees.
Vitamin D3 – a type of vitamin D.

With a chemical makeup like that I'd say the best way to eat it would be to carefully remove the slice from the wrapper, neatly fold the wrapper back up to slice size, then toss the slice of "cheese product" in the garbage and eat the wrapper... Thanks babe! 

The simple fact of the matter is, we can't be ingesting crap like this in the new world. Before you know it, we'll be just as retarded as we were prior to building a better world.

In the new world, if James Kraft is resurrected and tries to bring back cheese "product" slices he will be stoned................ TO DEATH!

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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