Monday, 21 September 2015

Rule #108: Vehicle washing

 Ahhh.. Saturday. What a great day to ..ahem.. wash.. the.. car. Sorry, I had a hard time choking that one out. Granted, I care about my car about as much as I do my BBQ. Actually that's not true. I clean my BBQ way more than I do my car. It's not that I don't respect Trix (yes, my Toyota Matrix has a name. It's Trix, NOT Trixie. I hate Trixie. It sounds trashy and if you ever call her Trixie, I will fight you) uuuummmm, oh yeah, it's just that I see a car as
a mode of transport that gets me places when I can't use my bike. I don't enjoy washing it. Nor do I like wasting a precious resource on keeping it shiny. I have a neighbour, who I hope he never reads this because I'm sure he's a nice guy, but he washes his vehicles weekly. At least once a week. Probably more. I'm talking hose, buckets, brushes... the whole deal. I don't get it. It doesn't look like fun at all.
It's not like he's got 5 scantily clad hot chicks spraying water and suds all over the place and rubbing themselves against the windows and bending over the hood with their soaking wet daisy dukes riding waaaaaaaay up while their friends bend over provocatively and look over at me with that pouty look and suds dripping off their chin, holding the hose close to th.... uhhhhh......  yeah, no fun at all!
And the water waste is funomanal fonumonal fanominal ... it's outrageous! I mean, that's water my kids need to survive. Every time anyone washes their car with a hose it's like taking my kids face and smashing it against your car windshield . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . or maybe not. But it's a waste.
 A common myth is that the runoff from washing your car goes into the municipal system and gets treated. Not true. It actually flows directly into the storm water system which feeds directly to the streams, lakes and rivers in the community.
In the wastewater system, water is treated before rejoining the water system. Not so for storm water.
Commercial car washes funnel their wastewater into the wastewater system where it is treated. Many car washes also treat their water before flushing it into wastewater as well to remove grease, oil and other pollutants like radiator fluid or transmission fluid.
Personally, I'll let God decide when it's time to get the bird shit off my car.


In the new world, if vehicles must be washed, they will be washed in commercial car washes.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!
Sorry ladies. There's no pictures of Brad Pitt washing his car on the internet. Trust me!

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