Monday, 26 October 2015

Rule #73: Freezing bananas for banana bread

Keeping bananas in your freezer does not constitute banana bread. You have to actually make the shit. But for some reason I think every freezer in North America has a small plantations worth of bananas stored in it. As a matter of fact, I may I have a banana or two in my freezer. I guess because I think I'm going to make banana bread some day. How the fuck am I going to make banana bread? I doubt I have flour in the house. I'm assuming you need flour to make it. It doesn't matter. I live in a house with 2 boys. We aint bakin' nuttin'! As a matter of fact I just had chips for dinner. And yes, I hydrated with beer. So the chances of baking banana bread are slim to none. So if there is a banana in there, I'm chucking it in the composter first thing in the morning. Or when I get around to it.
Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure the system is this;
  1. Buy bananas
  2. Put on counter
  3. Eat one
  4. Let rest go bad
  5. Put in freezer with plan to make banana bread
  6. Never make banana bread

Why do I care? Well I'm glad you asked. Here's some interesting facts about bananas and the related bread:

  • Bananas travel far, causing CO2, and therefore significantly contributing to climate footprints.
  • bananas are often packaged in plastic packaging.
  • To keep bananas uniform-looking so that companies abroad will accept them, growers have to spray their plantations with large amounts of pesticides, in fact much higher amounts than other tropical crops because of the banana’s thick peel.
  • Nuts ruin banana bread, while chocolate chips enhance it.

You get the point.

In the new world, we will have an understanding of the environment such that putting the earth before our banana bread is second nature.



  1. You forgot to mention about your famous invention. Banana slash pudding cup!

    1. Wow! Talk about a blast from the past. Your right, I forgot all about that. I'll get working on it immediately.


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