Saturday, 10 October 2015

Rule #89: The ninja bomb

If you're unfamiliar, please allow me to illustrate; You're at a party and you decide you aint gonna be there long. Either the action is dying down or you realize there's somewhere else you want to be. You either do the traditional thing and spend a half hour or so working the room saying goodbye to everyone, or you use my method.. Drop a Ninja Bomb! This is just what you might imagine. You give one big all encompassing CIAO! To the crowd and BAM. you're on your way in a puff of smoke. Minus the smoke. The next thing you know, you're at the corner pub watching Jay sing Black Sabbath at karaoke!

It drives me nuts when my smokin hot trophy girlfriend says to me "Ok, lets get going" I say "Cool" And I've already got my left loafer on when she says "I'll just go say goodbye". My loafer - like my soul -  drops to the floor. I look to the ceiling for strength, grab a beer and get comfy while she works the room. All I can hear is "Cluck Cluck cluck,We should get together more, cluck, cluck cluck, cluck  .........." Stevie Wonder could find the door before we get to it. It's time for change. Starting new conversations when it's time to leave? Aint' nobody got time for dat.

In the new world, the ninja bomb will not only be acceptable, it will be the exit strategy of choice.



  1. I like this ninja exit strategy. The only time i get away with it is when i am so drunk that i need to pas out....NOW.... Otherwise, as a girl, it seems obligatory to hug every person in the room, even the people you dont know, just to be polite.

    1. Women are too nice. If someone said to me "you can only leave this party if you tell everyone to fuck off and this party sucks" The F-bomb would be out of my mouth before they finished the sentence. But good on ya. We will promote kindness in the New World.


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