Monday, 5 October 2015

Rule #94: Short faucets

OK. Full disclosure... I'm a germaphobe. Here's the definition according to the urban dictionary.

Germaphobe:
Any person who is obsessed with cleanliness and defeating bacteria. These individuals will turn on faucets with their elbows and hand sanitize on an hourly basis.
Everything in that statement is 100% me, except the hourly sanitization. Aint nobody got time for dat'. But the elbow part? Hell yeah!
Anyhoo... When I use the can - to use the parlance of our times - I need a certain environment. And if it doesn't exist, I can usually create it by utilizing my elbows, covering things.. yada, yada, yada... One thing I have a hard time with is when the faucet is too short. I can implement all the anti-bacteria countermeasures I want, but it can all go to shit (no pun intended) if that damn faucet is too short.

  After I've dabbed some of that sweet smelling almond, vanilla, strawberry, winter breeze, apple blossom anti-bacterial soap on my hands and whipped it into a wicked lather - not that I'm washing clumps of feces off my hands, I don't belong to that tribe that doesn't believe in toilet paper - but once I'm satisfied that my hands are clean and sanitized and I elbow that waterfall into action, the last thing I need is to make physical contact with the sink. But if that faucet is only like 2 inches long, that's exactly what's going to happen. Then all my bacteria defeating tactics have gone to waste. I may as well just wash my hands in the toilet.

 I know it's some demented bacteria loving faucet designer behind this. I can see him now, hunched over his drafting table, going over cleverly designed short faucets, laughing to himself. You son of a bitch! Guess who's not welcome in the New World...

In the new world, faucets will extend at least 38.9% into the sink area.

AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

3 comments:

  1. That’s quite ridiculous. But have you considered the idea of using sensor faucets? I guess it would be perfect for individuals like you who are germ-phobic.
    DuraFaucet.com

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  2. Sensor faucets would be perfect. Gotta get the word out to the bars I frequent.

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  3. Great post! Whether you are modernizing plumbing fittings or renovating the old one, the first thing that you should do is decide the type of basin faucets. The faucet design should be in such a way that should complement the design of your basin. There are a variety of different designed faucets are available in the marketplace and all these different faucets are designed for different purposes. Single hand and center set faucets are the most popular choices among homeowners.

    ReplyDelete

Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!