Sunday, 20 December 2015

Rule #18: Getting stuck on the ski lift

Everyone loves getting stuck half way up the ski lift, right? What’s that? You hate it? (enter deep announcer voice) WELL NOT ANYMORE! Not with the 365 Rules; rule #18. From now on, if a ski lift is stuck for more than 15 minutes, a small service cable will be deployed that will deliver free beer to each and every lift passenger. Every 15 minutes this cable will be re-deployed. What could make being stuck on a ski lift more enjoyable than free beer?  That’s right, nothing!
Just imagine passing the time away with your seatmate over a nice cold beer. You can pretend you’re in the most prestigious bar in the world. So prestigious, in fact that everyone gets their own cable car to took out at the scenery. Everyone’s always looking for an adventure these days. Sounds good to me.
Free beer can make even the crankiest son of a bitch lighten up. Unless of course you have the misfortune of getting stuck beside some cranky old fart who doesn’t drink and is pissed at the world because he spent ten years as a glory hole cleaner at the heavy petting zoo. But what are the chances? I don’t think too many cranky people go snowboarding or skiing. They’re all at home getting their snow blowers ready and complaining about kids who don’t wear hats.
I can’t wait for my first ski lift breakdown in the New World. The same concept would work for roller coasters as well. Unless you get stuck upside down in the loop. But what about the ferris wheel? Come to think of it, they should serve beer on the ferris wheel everyday.

In the new world, free beer will be served on ski lifts during break downs.


  1. This one was a total shocker didn't see it coming at all. I wasn't sure that you enjoyed the occasional alcoholic beverage from your previous 247 blogs. Skiing is for fags and I don't often do it.... but when I do I will now do it with a Doosawkee in my hand ... stay thirsty my friends.
    When the new world arrives I ski every night.

    1. If snowboarding is for fasgs... Show me to the nearest glory hole! But thanks to rule #18, lift breakdowns will no longer be something to fear. See you on the slopes (or lifts). Just be careful who you sit with from now on. They could be your drinking partner for a while.

  2. All that beer is going to make for alot of yellow snow under the lifts. Don't wipe out.

    1. HA! I hadn't thought about that. Maybe we'll need ski diapers!


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