Technological advancements in the airline business have made air travel much better. I’m speaking specifically to the new check in kiosks they have now. Instead of waiting in line to talk to a human about your ticket and seat selection, you can just belly up to a bank machine like unit, insert your passport and BAM! You’re checked in. You can even select the seat you want from a diagram of the plane. This is a flawless check-in system.. IF, you’re the first one to check-in. After that, the system has a major option omission.
When you’re selecting your seat and most of the seats are already taken, what are you looking for in a place to rest your ass for the next three or four hours? A window seat? An aisle seat? Close to the bathroom? Nah, you want to know who your potential seat partners are. If there are 2 seats left on the plane and one is beside a 400 pound lard ass who’s mad at the world because his wife left him due to the fact he almost smothered her in bed and tried to eat one of the children… and the other seat is beside a friendly 22 year old stripper with big tits, which seat would you choose? Unless you’re a cheeseburger salesman, you’re probably going with the stripper. Which happened to me on the way home from Texas last year. But that’s another story.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know a little bit about your seat partner? That way you could forgo the initial formalities and introductions. After you stow away your luggage, turn off all electronic devices, ensure your seat is in the upright position and seatbelt is securely fastened, you can turn to the guy next to you and say “Hi Larry, how long have you been a latex salesman”?
In the new world, airline check-in kiosks will have a picture and short bio of each passenger.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!