Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Rule #29: Movie trailers



When you finally decide to get ready, prepare the financial and time commitment required to visit the theatre to see the latest abortion Hollywood has thrown together, the last thing you expect is disappointment. But right from the outset, it’s like they want you to be disappointed. Everyone is busy and it’s tough to get anywhere on time. So when you finally get to the movie house, get the tickets and popcorn and finally sit down at 7:32 for a 7:30 show, why do you have to sit through 15 minutes of trailers? We’ve paid our money. It’s not like the show is free. Basically I raced here and paid a shit-ton of money to watch your advertising. By the time the trailers are done, I’m already done my corn. Not to mention the movie is usually garbage. And an independent panel should let you know if the only good 5 minutes of the movie was crammed in the trailer.

Last night I took my smoking hot trophy girlfriend to see "Out of the furnace". You know a movie is shitty when you’re checking your watch and wondering why movie writers don’t put any thought into a script. If you’re planning on going to this movie, take my advice; Take fifty bucks, burn it and do something productive with the two hours you would have wasted watching Christian Bale stand around, drive his truck and go to work for 2 hours. Woody Harrelson’s character makes a go of it, but not enough to save the movie. And in case you’re wondering, Bale shoots Harrelson at the end. You’re welcome.
In the new world, there will be no trailers at movie theatres.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

1 comment:

Agree? Disagree? Lay it on me!