Saturday, 5 December 2015

Rule #33: Rednecks


You may be a redneck if you think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport…
Actually, we should clarify the term. Redneck was not originally meant as a derogatory term at all. While it can be used to refer to bigoted, loutish reactionaries who are opposed to modern ways, the term was given to hard working people who toiled all day in the hot sun and ended up with sun burns on the back of their neck. They also just happened to be the same people who got wrecked on moonshine and did fucked up shit at night.
I myself have done some rednecky things on occasion. Like that time we almost got killed while couch surfing behind a 72’ Impala at Cayuga raceway. Safe? No! Fun? HELL YA!
If they were a little more environmentally responsible, I’d be all for the Redneck ways. You gotta love watching shirtless, toothless, senseless overall wearin’ dudes do messed up shit. America was built on that kind of mentality. Well, that and slaves, of course.
No matter what kind of mean spirited thing you say about rednecks, you know you love watching them belly flop into a mud puddle or drive a beat up old car into a barn. I think deep down inside, the truth is we’re all really jealous of the rednecks. Doing whatever they want and having fun, not giving a shit while the rest of us toil away for the man all day. I think the fact is.. we all got a little redneck in us.

In the new world, we will keep the redneck spirit alive. Cause’ they ain’t hurtin’ nobody.
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!

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