Why can’t government organizations run as effectively as successful businesses? The world needs to adopt the same business hierarchy that a successful business uses. One leader with many departments. The breakdown happens at the federal level. That’s what’s wrong with the world. You couldn’t run a successful business if every department was permitted to adopt it’s own set of rules independent of company objectives and mission. Instead of every country having its own leader with it’s own set of ideals and objectives, the entire world should have but one leader to whom all countries answer to. The same way business department heads answer to the company president. This seems to work well for EXXON and APPLE; why not for the world? Not that I want the world to start spewing oil in the ocean or outsourcing all jobs to the Chinese, but the business model is sound. I picture a wise old man standing on top of a mountain making all the controversial decisions for the world.
Now, I know what a lot of you are thinking, “Who in the world could possibly run the entire earth”? Well don’t look at me; I don’t have the cognitive capacity to run an entire planet. ALL RIGHT, I’LL DO IT! But only until we can find a competent leader. I’d be willing to quit my current job and be the seer of all things that cause conflict and require a level headed decision maker to figure it out. For the good of the land! All world problems will come before me and I will pass judgment based on the rules of the New World. My judgments will be final and all must abide by them. Now, I’ll need a couple of things before I can begin. First, I’ll need the biggest desk in the world. Second, a fully stocked liqueur cabinet and finally, a hot secretary… No, wait… 2 hot secretaries. Look, I can’t be making decisions for the whole world unless I’m happy and content, right? So that’s it. And maybe an endless supply of pretzels. Now I’m ready.
So, this is the way I see it go down. I lean over my giant desk and hit the intercom button… “Pamela, send in the next one!” Following Pamela’s tight red leather skirt and knee high black leather boots is Kim Jong Un. She leans over my desk to tell me why he's here and…and… ummm, uhhh. Anyway, once Un finally peels his eyes off her ass he says, “I rant to brow up big nuke in ocean.” I sit back and look at him with sympathetic contempt, put feet up on my desk, take a big gulp of scotch without taking my eyes off him and as I flip my feet back to the floor, I say, “Look Un, you’re pissing a lot of people off. The states are pissed at you, South Korea doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. You can’t blow up anymore nukes.” Then I’d mess up his hair and say “Now get outta here ya nut.” He’d have no choice but to listen to me. Simplifying these overly complex issues is what the new world is all about. Problem solved.
In the new world, political structure will similar to that of a successful business and one sane, rational voice will solve all conflict!
AND SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN!